“What’s on your Mind?” ASK Pantherella

Dear Pantherella,

My boyfriend just graduated and is moving to Atlanta. He wants to try long distance dating but I’ve heard that it never works out and that most couples end up breaking up after a few months or two. My friends have been telling me to just break it off now but my boyfriend is talking about having me move there with him in a few months after I graduate this summer. I don’t know how I feel about picking up all my stuff and leaving my parents to be with him.

Stuck in Florida

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Photo by Dorien Martin

Dear SF,

Long distance dating is not everyone’s cup of tea. That being said, there is no reason why it should not work out between you and your boyfriend. If you care for him enough to consider moving to Atlanta, then a few months without his physical presence should be bearable.

I do not know what the dynamics of your relationship are so I cannot give you a definite answer on whether or not you should move to Atlanta. Some things to consider are:

  • Finances: Will you be able to support yourself without your parents?
  • Career and education: Will you be able to find a job there? Do the universities in Atlanta offer courses consistent with your major?
  • Social life: You will be leaving your family and your friends; how comfortable do you feel about finding a new support system?
  • The nature of the relationship between you and your boyfriend: As the primary reason behind you moving to Atlanta, he needs to fully understand the weight of your decision and the strain that this might place on your relationship.

Moving is stressful and if either of you take it too lightly, it may lead to feelings of resentment and the eventual end of your relationship. Acknowledging these hurdles is the first step to deciding whether or not to move, the next would be to have a serious talk with your parents and your boyfriend about how they feel regarding the situation (not only concerning matters of the heart, but the logistics involved with moving as well). Eventually, it all boils down to how much you’re willing to try to make the relationship between you and your boyfriend work, if you’re willing to put yourself at risk of failing and whether or not you see it as a sustainable future for yourself. It could go either way between deciding to move and staying in Florida but only you can decide that.