“What’s on your Mind?” Ask Pantherella

Dear Pantherella,

I like him, but are we compatible? I was raised to be a strong female, independent. And my boyfriend is a mama’s boy. He tells her everything, even personal stuff, and that affects how she sees me. What can I do?

Privacy Required

Dear PR,

In most relationships, there are uncontrollable factors involved. In this case, your boyfriend clearly has family dynamics that you are unused to. His mother plays a big part in his life and he feels comfortable sharing with her. As you say, you were brought up to be independent so this may come across as childish or immature to you – perhaps you even question if he is being respectful of your intimate matters. Whatever it is, bear in mind that he is not doing this out of ill-will towards you, rather as a way of life that he has gotten used to.

If you feel that you are uncomfortable with the things he talks about with his mother, I would advise you to speak to him personally about it. While he has the freedom to relay what he wants, you also have a right to your own information. Discuss clear boundaries with him concerning what you consider appropriate for him to discuss with others. He may protest initially, but if you are firm in the foundation of your relationship, the two of you should eventually reach a compromise.

Do not begrudge him the connection he has with his mother but don’t let the things he shares distress you either.

Regards,

Pantherella

 

Please keep in mind that space is limited and the staff reserves the right to edit all submission. Your questions should be less than 100 words and only one or two questions will be chosen to appear in each issue of the Beachcomber student newspaper. Please submit your questions to Beachcomber@palmbeachstate.edu.

Pantherella is written by a non-traditional college student. She shares her opinions on many diverse topics and often, just tells it like it is. Keep in mind, the opinion(s) contained in this column are for “ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.”

The Beachcomber and/or Palm Beach State College does NOT make any representations or warranties of any kind, expressed or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability or suitability with respect to the column or the information contained in this column for any purpose.