“What’s on your Mind?” Ask Pantherella

DSCN5753Dear Pantherella,

I found out that my girlfriend still talks to her ex-boyfriend through text and social media, even though he lives in a different city. Should I be concerned? When we develop intimate relationships online, is that considered cheating too?

Worried Love

Dear WL,

If you trust your girlfriend then who she talks to online should not be of concern to you. It is only worrying if you think that she still harbors feelings for him or has ulterior motives in mind besides platonic communication. Whatever you do, do not go through her text or online messages as that would be a clear breach of privacy and severely impact her confidence in you if she ever found out. Even if she never discovered your act, it would not be advisable ethically or morally to do that. If you have serious concerns or have any other indications that their communication is tending towards the romantic side then my advice to you is to talk to her about it. Open discussion is key in every relationship and once there is suspicion of foul play, it is best to confront it rather than allow your feelings to fester.

Developing intimate relationships online is a valid form of cheating. Many people are able to form an emotional and romantic attachment to others without the need for a physical presence. Should this be the case in your relationship, then I encourage you to treat the matter as if she was actively meeting with him in person.

All that being said, there is no need to blow the matter out of proportion. She may only be talking to him as a friend. I understand why it may be worrying that she still communicates with him (given that they used to be a major part of each other’s lives) but if you are secure in your relationship then there is no cause for stress.



Please keep in mind that space is limited and the staff reserves the right to edit all submission. Your questions should be less than 100 words and only one or two questions will be chosen to appear in each issue of the Beachcomber student newspaper. Please submit your questions to Beachcomber@palmbeachstate.edu.

Pantherella is written by a non-traditional college student. She shares her opinions on many diverse topics and often, just tells it like it is. Keep in mind, the opinion(s) contained in this column are for “ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.”

The Beachcomber and/or Palm Beach State College does NOT make any representations or warranties of any kind, expressed or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability or suitability with respect to the column or the information contained in this column for any purpose.